No Math for Shinobi?
by LullabyWriter
Summary: Let me list my accomplishments: I have a job, I saved a kitten and... Well that sums it up! My failures? Let's start with never passing the Academy and never becoming a ninja... Does being good at math compensate? I like to think it does but Kakashi would beg to differ... KakaOC


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Period.**

Children are so adorable. They have disproportionately huge eyes which gaze at you with complete and utter trust whenever you speak to them. They have the cutest laughs and can brighten up your day with the simple gesture of giving you a drawing.

But when they are out of control, you can't help but want to slap them.

That was the situation I was in right now. You'd think I'd have learned by now not to give children paint and glue. But no. Oh and glitter, I recalled as I observed a huge glittery chunk of glue in my hair. Wonderful.

I had a struggling child under on arm and was grabbing another with my other arm. "STOP!" I yelled. A few spared me a glance, but seeing my occupied state, assessed that I was no threat to their fun at the moment and resumed their screaming and throwing.

'Why did I ever take this job again?' I wondered. Oh right. I had no other choice. You see, I went to the Academy when I was younger and dreamed of becoming a powerful member of the ANBU. I dreamed of my enemies cowering in fear at the sight of me. I dreamed of having a snappy, clever reply to anyone who insulted me or doubted my abilities. Only problem? I never even managed to pass my genin exam. That _slightly _hindered my plans. I guess I just wasn't made to be a ninja.

The theory I understood. I was able to calculate the precise angle at which a kunai had been thrown and determine its speed of impact. I just couldn't throw one. Math was something I found easy whereas most other people struggled with it. I found some comfort in that. However, math was pretty useless on a battleground. Whenever I tried to hit a target, the correct angle and force at which I should be throwing it was all in my mind, but my body could not execute such precise orders and lacked the finesse of the best shinobi. Woe is me.

I was one of the lucky ones though, I had to constantly remind myself. Out of the few who never graduated the Academy, most ended up holding menial jobs. Since I was very talented at math, I was given the option to take courses for 2 years in mathematics, physics, and literature so I could teach. The problem was that the number of hours you got depended on how long you had been at the school. I was the newest so I only supervised children during arts and crafts and during math classes.

Most of my revenue came from my other jobs, which usually involved weapon design. The slightest imbalance in a weapon could render it useless to even the most talented ninja. I was given a certain amount of money for every design I created. Did you know there were different kunai that worked better in different environments? Me neither. Kunai, however, didn't really, pay. Mostly because they were designed once and then created in mass production so I wasn't really necessary. What paid most was katana, because each one was different. They had to have different designs, yet remain well balanced. A lot of them were almost considered works of art, displayed at festivals and in the Hokage Tower. Although I was not directly involved in their creation, I was still proud of the ones I had help create. Mostly, I had just adjusted measurements so it would work like a charm. But hey, that was more than nothing right? Plus it paid well.

Sighing, I dropped the children I had been holding and did the one thing that for some strange reason always worked. I started to clap my hands and sing "Clean up~ Clean up~ Clean up". Their heads shot up. They started singing 'Clean up~ Clean up". I honestly had no idea why they did this. No matter how bad the chaos was, they reacted instantly to this. My theory was that they had been trained to react to it from a very young age. I can't imagine what the punishment was if you didn't listen.

At least arts and crafts meant it was math tomorrow. Math was taught 2 days out of the week, for 2 hours. I (thankfully) taught all levels of math. I had the uncanny impression that the only reason this was so was because the other teachers hated teaching math class. Not because of the subject but because of the children's reaction to it. There was no better way to bore a class of kids than to teach them math.

Oh well. That'll teach them for getting glue in my hair.

-o-

"What do you mean you didn't evaluate the probability of the attack failing?" Tsunade asked angrily. The shinobi shrugged his shoulders. "You knew that there were 12 enemy shinobi, only 9 of them were in the building. The building contained 4 separate entrances. Logically, if the three were patrolling, only 3 out of 4 of those entrances could have been watch. Logically, that would also suggest that you should send a patrol out to verify which one is not protected. Am I wrong?" she challenged.

What he did may have been foolish, but the shinobi was not stupid. He shook his head. "We just figured that all the entrances were protected so we decided to attack" he stated awkwardly, shifting his feet.

Tsunade took a big gulp of sake. She was really passed caring.

"You can go" she dismissed. The shinobi sighed in relief and left to visit his injured friend.

"Shizune!" she called, taking another swing of sake. Shizune entered obediently. "It would seem that some of our shinobi would be in severe need of refreshing upon their old academy lessons". At this, Shizune's eyebrows shot up. "Is it really that important?" she asked, knowing no one would handle being told that too well.

Tsunade made a motion towards the latest report. "It would seem so. I am not going to let this village suffer the embarrassment of losing shinobi simply because they can assess probabilities correctly". Talk about a way to look like absolute fools, she thought.

She gave Shizune an order to send to all jonin in the village.

The message:

_It would seem that some among you are in need of some reminding of the importance of elementary lessons. Complete the short test attached and submit it to the Hokage Tower for tomorrow afternoon at the most. Failure to comply will result in consequence. Those who fail the test shall be informed of the contents properly. Good luck._

_Tsunade_

-o-

That night, more than one ninja shook his head in confusion when looking at the test. Even more didn't even bother to complete it. What could Tsunade possibly do to them? Return them to the Academy? Psh as if she would do that.

**Please tell me what you think. I am quite open to comments and jump with joy at every review I receive. I read them all and take them into consideration so if you have any comments, suggestions, or encouragement, please feel free to share!**


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